British English vs Malaysian English

I grabbed this from a forwarded email. This is quite true and it sounds more a pasar Malaysian English ... hehe

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below - Ours is
simple,short, concise, straight-to- point, effective etc.........

When giving a customer bad news.
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you
want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other
outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

Returning a call
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

Asking someone to make way
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

When someone offers to pay
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah.

When asking for permission
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to
enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

When entertaining
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

When doubting someone
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

When declining an offer
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

In disagreeing on a topic of discussion
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

When asking someone to lower their voice
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm
trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

When asking someone if he/she knows you
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do
I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

When assessing a tight situation
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

When trying to find out what had happened
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

When some one did something wrong
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

When one is angry
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u